Simple as possible...

Alot of people have asked me in recent months the same questions "Kristin, what is so different, what is this trusting in God thing?"

The only way I can describe the way i feel is this...bare with me!!

I feel born again, colors are brighter, nothing seems to big to handle, people that have hurt or wronged me...i feel compassion and forgiveness for them, i want to shout outloud that God loves me and you, in hard times i seek God's answers and not my own, grateful for the good and the bad that brought me to this point and lastly when I die...i want to be remembered as a GOD FEARING WOMAN THAT LOVED EVERYONE WELL!

When I am down, sad, happy, thrilled, grumpy, bored...i Seek God's wisdom and answers. I am shocked all the time with His answers!!

Simple as possible...

Thank you God for loving me!!

3 kids...

I am so struck by the fact that all three of my beautiful children are so different. They are all adorable in the "looks" area (not partial at all), but that is NOT what I am talking about.

Examples:

Mike my oldest is my SPORTS kid. He lives, breathes and sports consume him. He shows love outwardly very easily and all the time. He is almost 12 years old but will come out of the dugout to kiss me on the lips and hug me when he's just made a BIG play, catch or hit. He loves pinching my FATROLL, yes, fatroll to bug me but he always pinches it and says the same thing "mom, i love your fatroll...it's from me being in ur belly!" I have made comments like "mom is going to get a tummy tuck" and he screams "NO your not!!" Makes me smile inside and out!

Mckenzie is ALL girl and ALL me! So needless to say we buttheads! She is so passionate, loud, expressive, dramatic, daddy's girl and SINGS ALL THE TIME!

Again, I am not in denial of the fact that she is me thru and thru!! Mckenzie has been the child that has surprised me the most through our seperation. She is the one that if she has questions, she asks! If she is sad, she crys. If she is mad, she yells. I am very proud of the girl that she is becoming. She wants alot of "cuddle" time with me now and I am soaking it up!! She is athletic but really does not have the "self" drive that her big brother has, but she is FAST so she better go all the way and never give up!! I am so proud of my mini me!

Zach is my BABY! In all sense of the word. Baby boy! I spoil him rotten and he gets away with murder. His eyelashes are as long as his arms and melts me. He is my music lover. When a good guitar rift plays on the radio or tv...he's working that air guitar like no ones business! He worships his brother and is the BAT BOY for life for any/all Mike's teams. Yes, he is a catcher on his own baseball team but gives more effort as batboy! :) Zach is jealous of anyone that wants my attention and I won't lie...I EAT IT UP! Zach is the one that can lay in my bed with me and we can watch Rocky 1, 2, 3 and eat snacks and he will lay there all day with his mom.

All three of my gifts from God are angels on earth! They are not perfect, so don't let me fool you!

Mike: Loses everything that is NOT attached to him! (hints why he is the only boy in the whole wide world that doesnt have a cell phone!:)

Mckenzie: HER MOUTH! She thinks she knows it all (again, dont need to remind me that she is like her mother, thank you!)

Zach: Pouts! I love it, drives his dad nuts! :(

I miss them dearly right this second and would love a hug, pinch and a kiss right this second. Thank you God for making them just for me and my heart. GOD IS A LOVING AND WONDERFUL GOD!!

Grateful mom here!

Sundays...

Sunday's are suppose to be for a day of rest...not a day to clean...right? I could just catch up on sleep, laziness and coffee drinking BUT I know that during these rare days off, I have to catch up on fun things like cleaning toilets, laundry and vacumning.
Since I started working full time a couple of years ago, I was struck my the overwhelming sense of satisfaction of just seeing vacumn lines and smelling fabreeze throughout the house. Is that wrong of me? I just know that I get 2 short days off to be "present" in my kids world and show them I am "really here and want to hang out" with them and not just 30 minutes here and there when I'm going over homework at night! My kids rock my soul...I say that alot and I really believe that! When I am down, one of them will walk in and say something that recharges my heart and soul. Again, it's not the BIG things like you think you need to hear...it's the simple "mom, I love lucky charms or wanna watch a movie together?" So, as I lay in bed right this second with my coffee cup on the nightstand, son under the covers wanting to take a nap with his mom and house that's not the cleanest...I AM HAPPY! I love Sunday's and all in my world is right!

Re~dedicated...

Last night I re~dedicated my life and heart to our Lord in Savior. It's not a huge "hoopla" or a vision of mystical lights shining down from Heaven like I use to think that needed to happen. No...it's simple. I want to make all my decisions THROUGH God first. For those that thought what I did "well that means that I need to be PERFECT and NEVER make another mistake!" NO...that means that when life is getting me down...get on my knees and pray for God to show me the blessings in my life. When I am tempted to do something that my "little voice" says is not right and will hurt me...trust it and walk away! I am so happy that God does not give up on us EVER and wants us to come to Him, just as we are!
Prayer is so powerful...I talk to God as a friend "Ok Dude...i am so stressed right now and don't know how to get my crap together"...help me God. That's an example of a prayer to Him and then all of a sudden my son will walk up to me and say "Mom, I love you and thanks for the poptarts you got me, they are my favorite kind!" and I bow my head and say "ok God...I get it"
So Again, I don't know who is going to ever read these blogs but I know God is and for the FIRST darn time in my life...that's all that matters!
Satan has lost another lost girl's heart!


SCORE:

Satan: 15000 lost souls GOD: HE WILL WIN THEM ALL!

My new goal: Tell one person a day that Jesus loves them and just trust in Him!

Babysteps...

It's gonna be a quick one tonight. I am so thrilled that God has been showing me that taking tiny step to do the will of God is better than standing still in the same place. Also, I must go THROUGH Him to get things done the right way! LOVE IT...I'm OK with baby steps!! I might seem like the most confident and secure person but baby steps is all I got right now...but the pedicure will look good while I'm taking those baby steps! :)
I hope that when people see what God is doing in my life, they will want to know more about the God that has found me in pieces lately and STILL wants all the pieces of me. I am not a preachy type of girl but...I do want my family and friends to know one thing about me...I truly believe that God makes us go through some weather and storms to make us see that God is the ONLY way and the LIGHT!
I'm gonna be singing tomorrow night to give some glory back to the God that deserves it all...i don't think I have alot to offer God, but he gave me a voice and I'm gonna use it!
Good night and write more tomorrow!

Babysteps...

Let there be a Revelation...

As I get settled into work mode today, I am very excited for the future and want to share! A great friend of mine Jayci invited us to visit her church this morning. Though it was quite the travel (lee's summit to grainvalley) and getting 3 kids, mom and dad motivated and ready and even all our teeth brushed to drive 45 minutes for church. As I drove up to the church, I was excited for the change of pace. We didn't have to park 1.6 blocks away due to no parking, there wasn't a crosswalk with 8 church members directing traffic to get us to our crowed foyer to fight for a good seat! The greeting to the small, down to earth, dressed down, kids running around, people introducing themselves as though we were at a family BBQ, feel good church was a pleasant refreshing experience. Pastor Daryl really feels like there is a REVELATION coming and it starts with yourself, heart and talking and truely listening to God. Can I hear Him? Am I truely listening? Do I want to hear God or am I scared to death? These are the questions that are going through my mind.
In church service a great story was told and I want to share it:

A little girl was walking down the street when she past a Five and Dime store(for those that don't know what that is it's like a thrift store) and saw a pearl necklace. She thought that was the prettiest necklace she'd ever seen (fake and plastic), so she worked around the house to earn enough money to go buy that necklace. She wore that pearl necklace EVERYWHERE! She wore them in the bath, to bed and never took that necklace off. One night her daddy walked in and said "baby girl, I have a question for you...DO YOU LOVE ME?" and that little girl said "of course dad...duh!" and He said "will you give me your necklace?" and she replied "but Daddy that is my favorite necklace, please don't ask me for that. So He said "ok, nevermind"
The next night her daddy walked in and sat by her bed and asked the same question and again, she responded the same "Daddy of course I love you but I love this necklace" and once again...He said "ok, that's ok" Each night he did the same thing and asked her the same question until one night He asked again and this time the little girl said with tears in her eyes..."your my daddy and I love you so much daddy...here is my necklace" and her Daddy with tears in his eyes took that fake, scratched, tattered pearl necklace and put it in his pocket and reached in the other pocket and presented her with a long black box and inside was a dazzling, new, real pearl necklace! Moral of the story is this: God wants us to give all that we have and He will make sure that everything else is new, dazzling and REAL! I for one hold on to things that are fake, tattered and scratched...can I let go of my pearl necklace?

Ive always thought that a Christian was suppose to look a CERTAIN WAY, ACT A CERTAIN WAY, BE A CERTAIN WAY and what I am realizing is God wants me just the way I am tattered, scratched and sometimes even fake. He wants me just the way I am...He made me in all His glory! You know what I say to that "whew...thank God!"

So that is where my heart is this afternoon...I think I have a few necklaces that I could give to Him!

Weekend Hours!!

You know when you are wanting to have a baby, all you see are woman that are expecting? When your on a diet, why is there donuts just showing up at work all of a sudden? This "break" from marriage that I am calling a seperation is the same way. I am working on a Saturday today at my wonderful new job and the first 4 shows are people getting a divorce. 4 people in a one hour period sharing their stories of failed marriages, raising kids and trying to put the pieces of their life and hearts back together. Does God do this to give you answers? Does He do it to show me to keep fighting or that I will get through this, just as the others in the world have done? With the divorce rate at almost 70%...the chances of hearing stories are good! God has put in my heart the vision of the things that are blessings in my life and to focus on them and hold them tight by my heart.

Blessings I am finding are BIG or small and hold on to them with a tight grip!

My son Mike came out of the dugout today FROZEN...JUST TO HUG ME! He has no idea that the fact that he came out of that dugout and yelled for me to meet him behind the muddy dugout just to hug with my this mom's heart be overjoyed. -Thank you God!

My littlest man was frozen this morning and wanted to sit on my lap inside my coat -Thank you God!

My daughter came to the ball fields from a friends house and ran yelling my name "mommmmy" and wanted a kiss and hug when she saw me. -Thank you God!

My son has a game at 1:15 but Brandon packed up our 3 children to bring me Taco Bell for lunch (since I can't leave to eat) so share lunch together. -Thank you God!

I am pouting that I have to work and miss games, family time and eating sunflower seeds but I am aware and appreciate that I am employed! -Thank you God!

Little Blessings:
Amy, Taco Bell, hats, Klove download to work computer, coffee, tivo!

Praying for answers!